"It's the sweetest thing there is," said Lazzaro.
"People fuck with me," he said, "and Jesus Christ are they ever fucking sorry. I laugh like hell. I don't care if it's a guy or a dame. If the President of the Unisted States fucked around with me, I'd fix him good. You should have seen what I did to a dog one time."
"A dog?" said Billy.
"Son of a bitch bit me. So I got me some steak, and I got me the spring out of a clock. I cut the spring up in little pieces. I put points on the ends of the pieces. They were sharp as razor blades. I stuck 'em into the steak- way inside. And I went past were they had the dog tied up. He wanted to bite me again. I said to him, 'Come on, doggie- let's be friends. Let's not be enemies any more. I'm not mad.' He believed me."
"He did?"
"I threw him the steak. He swallowed it down in one big gulp. I waited around for ten minutes." Now Lazzaro's eyes twinkled. "Blood started coming out of his mouth. He started crying, and he rolled on the ground, as though the knives were on the outside of him instead of on the inside of him. Then he tried to bite out his own insides. I laughed, and I said to him, 'You got the right idea now. Tear your own guts out, boy. That's me in there with all those knives.'" So it goes.
"Anybody ever asks you what the sweetest thing in life is-" said Lazzaro, "it's revenge."