At work

At work I am not amused. I use my spare time there for self-analyzing and according to my therapist this has helped me and I have improved. I don’t tell her that’s what I do at work, but I do tell her about my outlook, my life, my thoughts and my actions and she says it has improved. I have improved. Yes, yes people should improve and improving is a process. A process that initiates at a desk, in front of a computer, where there is nothing else to do. A process that is then practiced when life picks up and things start to happen.

When bad thoughts come, think of a dusty desert plane turned glittering gold at sunset or a green pond dotted with lily pads in bloom. When bad thoughts come think of glaciers slowly moving through a white-blue abyss or fallen flowers being blown through an orchard of peach trees.

Before you’re tempted to stick your foot in your mouth breathe three deep breaths and reflect. Think of the moon and glittering stars casting an irredescent glow on the sand and ocean. The ocean.

Always think of the oceans rhythmic hum, it’s turning tides, and salty taste. When I was young I kept a conch shell in my dresser. In it I could hear what sounded like the oceans waves beating against the sand; an old trick. Later I learned it was the sound of my heart, of the blood being pumped through my body, reverberated inside the shell. I liked that my heart sounded like the ocean, my pulse a current moving through me.