When I was a teenager I let it all out on my old live journal. I was so honest and so emotional. In some ways I was such a bitch. In other ways I was so self deprecating. I had an outer layer of tenacious self confidence, and inside I was just a softy, like a crab.

Sometimes it seems like teenagers have it all figured out. I mean obviously not. They're lost hormonal humans trying to assert their identity. But in that struggle to find themselves, to find adulthood, they end up seeming like they know it all, and with such persuasive confidence. It's convincing. Then you get older and you realize, oh shit, nothing's that simple. Or is it?

Nope.

My world is so different now, at 23, than it was during my teen years: I work, I make money, and I don't have homework. I can see true adulthood looming on the horizon along with all those things adulthood brings: responsibility, accountability, consequences, judgments, habit and the void.

Ah, the void. I'm no longer in a class of 100 kids, or 1,000 kids, or whatever. Now I'm in the world, with like, 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 [+] former kids and it's clear everyone will either drift into something, or someone (whatever that means) or resign into no one (whatever that means).

And that's the uncertainty of adulthood: what does it mean? I guess you could boil it down to devoting your life to something you love, or not devoting your life to something you love.

But it's just so much more complicated than that. Or is it? Circles.