I have no patience today. None at all. I need to remember to be compassionate and understanding, especially when people are grating on my nerves. I also need distance.

'Oh yes, it is good to be your age,' Anna continued. 'I remember and know that blue mist, like the mist on the Swiss mountains... that mist which envelops everything at that blissful time when childhood is just, just coming to an end, and its immense, blissful circle turns into an ever-narrowing path, and you enter the defile gladly yet with dread, though it seems bright and beautiful... Who has not passed through it?'

It's like the pot calling the kettle black. Really now. Stop criticizing other people for flaws that you quite clearly possess. It's getting hard to listen to.

And so it goes

17. People want to be instantly and intuitively liked. Those persons who are perceived as forming opinions of others only after cautiously gathering and weighing the evidence are generally resented. Thus, it is imprudent to appear prudent.

Which one of the following, if assumed, enables the argument's conclusion to be properly drawn?

(A) People who act spontaneously are well liked.
(B) Imprudent people act instantly and intuitively.
(C) People resent those less prudent than themselves.
(D) People who are intuitive know instantly when they like someone.
(E) It is imprudent to cause people to resent you.

So. The past two weeks I had a small existential crisis. I am so fucking happy it's over. I am back on track. I need to learn how not to let my anxiety take hold of my thoughts and close my options. In the past two weeks I have somberly told my parents that I will never get married, probably never have children, and wish to live a humble life making a living wage somewhere. I don't even know. It felt liberating for about 5 minutes to free myself of all future expectations. Then I realized I was being ridiculous. Really ridiculous. Something about not being able to reach my full potential with all this pressure on me. Something about the love of money being the root of all evil. Something about pursuing pure desires and living an honest simple life. What the fuck? I need to just chill out. And study.

My father had asked me to keep a journal during the hurricane. He requested that I document the storms progress each hour and then send my full report to him at the end of the night. I obliged, but being that the hurricane was a total fluke, the journal does not contain much storm reportage. My father is away in Cape Cod with my mother, and was sorely disappointed at the prospect of a hurricane hitting Manhattan in his absence. Storms excite him. Well, not just storms, but the destruction they bring. He once burned down a whole field in Newark Jersey (where he grew up) just to "see what would happen." Surprise! The field burned down, engulfed by hot, magnificent flames, and the police caught him at the scene of the crime, staring placidly. Being just a small boy, his punishment was to ride around with the firemen for a week. This was not much of a punishment at all, but more of a reward. He told me the firemen were unanimously understanding of his crime, some even admitting to having committed similar transgressions when they were young.

Pyromaniac fire fighters, it makes sense.

But my father is not a pyromaniac; just a destruction-maniac with a focus on so called "natural occurrences." His desire to watch things burn, collapse, explode, and be torn apart is wide ranging. He has a fascination with "the sublime." So when we heard a hurricane might hit Manhattan, his excitement over the phone was practically palpable, and our conversations came accompanied by lengthy email instructions about keeping the air pressure stabilized within the house, filling up a bathtub with water, turning over the porch furniture (etc.) and finally, keeping a storm reportage journal.

Here's where things get interesting.

THINKIN. LIFE IS TOUGH WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE TELLING YA WHAT TO DO. CONFUSION.

Mhm

“This is what you shall do: love the earth and sun, and animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence towards the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown, or to any man or number of men; go freely with the powerful uneducated persons, and with the young, and mothers, of families: read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life: re-examine all you have been told at school or church, or in any books, and dismiss whatever insults your soul.”